Write Your Own Murder Ballad
(original poem by Anna)
published 04.28.21
You should be allowed
to romanticize your own pain
You should be allowed to stop
forcing things into
your plastic bag body
so you feel less empty
And just blow around in
a desolate parking lot
You should be able to cast
yourself as ophelia in the lake
As omie wise in the river
As a tragic heroine if you so please
You should be allowed to say blood
and bones can be beautiful
But they say isn't it toxic?
This romanticization of trauma
and mental illness?
And I'll wave to the stacks of books written by old white men
And all the songs that still top
Rolling Stones lists
And all the pixie manic dream
girls that hollywood ever could write
and say oh so when
They do it that's all right?
But god forbid a
Girl wants to take a crying
Mirror selfie, god forbid she
Wants to write a poem
You will either tell her she
Is only making it up
For attention
Or that she is
perpetuating her
Own pain
But men can sexualize
And infantilize
And beat a dead muse
For a couple centuries
And then it is art
Then it is art
Then the violence is art
Then the trauma is poetry
Then the rape is back story
Ah, someone to be fixed
By the male hero
Someone to teach him
There is more to life
So what if I wish to put lipstick
On a corpse this is
my plastic bag body not yours
I'll write my own murder ballad, babe
I'll be the victim, the villain, and the hero
Oh wouldn't you hate that a story where you don't play a part
A woman has always been
Capable of stabbing her own
Heart.
words from the author:
It really bothers me that some people see a woman writing about her own struggles as self-exploitation or attention seeking behavior. Yet, men have exploited women's pain for centuries and it has been praised as great art. I think we need to allow women to control their own narratives-- not just when they are healthy, strong, and powerful but during moments of weakness and pain too. And that can be art and it can be beautiful.