I will be your 3-in-1 girlfriend
like the shampoo you never use,
and I tell you time and time again
"babe, i can't keep cleaning up your mess"
but I have a broom in hand and your favorite food in the oven.

I will be your 3-in-1 girlfriend
therapist, mother, maid all wrapped into one,
let me nurse your bruised ego while I cry for hours at a time.
because I have always been a home for broken men who don't think too hard on what they say.
and I have always clung to shirt tails when I sobbed
but last night, I sobbed alone.

I will be your 3-in-1 girlfriend
I will always threaten the end but I can never leave.
instead I will beg for you to see the therapist that you need.
and I will hope you call your mother because I am too young for a son,
but I will still beg you for your arms to collapse around me.

I am only your 3-in-1 girlfriend
as advertised on T.V.
sit me next to the shampoo that has no use
and maybe I can fix you,
or give you the redemption you seek.