It is not uncommon to see the romanticization of your typical traditional wedding now a
days with women in white and husbands waiting at the altar. However, what some do not know
is that the institution of marriage is deeply rooted in sexist ideals.

Firstly, looking back in history, marriage was just a way for men to be able to solidify
their inheritance when she has his children as well as the fact that it was a way for the
husband’s father to combine their wealth. In addition to this, there was also the expectation of
a dowry to be given to the husband, almost as a gift from the parents of the bride for taking
their daughter away from them. This goes to show that marriage in its original form was never
about love, but business and money.

In addition to money, marriage further insinuated the sexist notion that women are
objects. There is the most obvious one with the woman taking her husband’s name and even if
she doesn’t, when the couple is together, they are referred to by the husband’s last name,
essentially demonstrating that he owned her, which back then meant just that. Not to mention
that the children having the father’s last name also demonstrated that everything she had,
including the children she birthed, belonged to him and not her.

Within the actual ceremony there are also these subtle hints that women are the
property of a man in her life. The reason a woman walks down the aisle with her father is
because this is a ceremonial transition of power between the father of the bride, and her soon
to be husband. The father is supposed to place her hand in her soon to be husbands to
demonstrate that she no longer belongs to him but rather to her husband instead. Not to
mention that now a days, the words repeated in wedding vows are to love and cherish,
however previously the woman was supposed to say to love, cherish and obey, whereas the
man did not have to say that, further proving that she is just property to him.

Lastly, there is the classic white dress. I think it’s important to remind everyone that
modern day beauty standards of a woman can be related to that of a child. Hairless, small,
fragile, a virgin, essentially innocent. This goes to show that societal beauty standards are
dominated by a pedophilic gaze. Furthermore, anyone whose taken an English class knows that
white symbolizes purity or virginity, because the bride is expected to lose her virginity the night
of her wedding. This idea that women are supposed to be “pure” or childlike until she belongs
solely to one man is rooted in not only the institution of marriage but modern-day society.
Moreover, having sex before marriage is a choice and one that women pay the price for instead
of the men they have sex with because risky behavior is expected of men. The phrase “boys will
be boys” only allows for men to get away with virtually anything while a woman cannot.

This stigma of sex amongst women further pushes the narrative that women should be
treated like children-- quiet, composed, mature, yet once more they are also expected to look

like one with the male gaze forcing hair removal treatments, slim figures, and the notion that if
you’ve slept with someone already, you’re a whore not worth anyone’s time.

While white wedding dresses and throwing the bouquet at friends has grown to mean
something much more different, never forget where its origin began or be afraid to change the
this very old and blatantly sexist ceremony.