----- Trigger Warning: Sexual Harassment/Assault, Dating Violence, R*pe -----

 

On March 10, a study conducted by UN Women shook the internet.  The study found that 97 percent of women ages 18-24 in the UK had been sexually harassed.  The original study summarizes, “71% of women of all ages in the UK have experienced some form of sexual harassment in a public space. This number rises to 86% among 18-24-year-olds and only 3% of 18-24 year-olds reported having not experienced any of the types of harassment listed.”  The study also discusses that 55 percent of women “didn’t think the incident was serious enough to report'' and 45 percent “didn’t think reporting it would help.”  These statistics took Tik Tok by storm, enraging girls and women of all ages.  The hashtag “#97percent” quickly blew up, having 348.7 million views as of May 11.  For many, Tik Tok became an outlet to be able to speak out about their own sexual harassment experiences after suffering in silence for years in some cases.

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If you’re anything like me, hearing these stories was extremely upsetting for you.  It may have triggered trauma from your own experiences, as it did for me, or empathy for other women who have been less fortunate than you.  The most upsetting was hearing of experiences that happened to young girls, some not even reaching middle school before their first experience with sexual violence.  According to a study by the National Council on Crime and Delinquency, one in three teen girls is a victim of dating violence.  This means that more than likely, someone you know has experienced this before they even turned 18.  As part of that 97 percent and one in three girls, my heart went out to every single video I saw.  

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Unfortunately, many men hiding behind a screen had to ruin this heartbreaking display of courage, with comments wanting the other three percent of women to be harassed too, or deciding to make April 24th “National Rape Day” (yes, you sadly read that right).  I read these comments completely baffled at how anyone could joke about such a serious and sensitive topic, knowing that some boy would see that and take it seriously, and some girl would pay the price of that.  I was outraged, feeling a need to help change the narrative, so that future girls wouldn’t have to suffer like my little 15-year-old self, and all the other women and children who have faced the same things I had.

So what can we as a society do to change this?  How can we help to decrease this number, and impact the future actions of so many men?  For starters, we can acknowledge that it is in fact the fault of men.  It is not uncommon for women to be blamed for their own sexual harassment.  Young girls are told daily not to dress ”too provocatively,” because the prying eyes of men can’t be controlled, to not walk alone at night, or anywhere if they can help it, to carry a taser or pepper spray with them at all times.  None of these things can prevent sexual violence on their own.  Men assaulted women in the 16th century when women wore dresses down to their ankles and were always accompanied by a man in their family, and they still do today.  Men need to be educated from a young age on what defines sexual harassment, and how to clearly ask for consent.  According to Planned Parenthood, a national survey by the University of Chicago found that “less than a third of people were taught anything at all related to consent, sexual assault, or healthy relationships in middle or high school.  Among those that did receive some education, people were most likely to have been taught how to say no to sex in both middle (25%) and high (33%) school and least likely to have been taught how to ask for consent in both middle (14%) and high (21%) school.”  Sex education in schools focusing solely on teaching women how to say no rather than teaching men how to ask for consent, and then accept a no that they may receive, is exactly how my experience occurred, as well as the experiences of many other women.  If the boy who assaulted me had been taught by my school how consent works, I may never have been assaulted.  I’m sure many women could say the same.  The survey also found that there is much confusion in both men and women, although predominantly in men, on what constitutes consent and sexual assault.  If sex education in schools taught more about consent and less about how to put a condom on a banana, many cases of sexual violence could’ve been prevented.

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Education could also help women to identify when they’ve been harassed or assaulted.  According to a meta-analysis done by the University of Mary Washington, “60.4 percent of women, on average, did not recognize their experience as rape even though it fit the definition — an unwanted sexual experience obtained through force or the threat of force or a sexual experience they did not consent to because they were incapacitated.”  This can be backed up by many of the women sharing their stories on Tik Tok.  It is not uncommon to see stories of women who did not know that what happened to them wasn’t okay.  Many thought it was a normal experience and that they must’ve given consent, even if this was not the case.  I was in that boat for many years before the stories of other women on Tik Tok helped me to discover that what happened to me wasn’t okay-- I wasn’t just being overdramatic.  If girls like me were educated in school on what defines rape, assault, harassment, or coercion, they may be more likely to report their experiences.  As previously mentioned, 55% of women in the UN women's study didn’t believe their experience was serious enough to report.  If they were validated in the seriousness of sexual violence and what constitutes it when they were younger, rather than just how to say no to it, more women may have been able to receive justice.

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Of course, there will be men out there thinking “not all men” or “I would never do that,”  but it is not enough just to not harass.  Men need to hold other men accountable for their actions, and yes, that includes your friends.  Excusing harassment and assault under the disguise of “boys will be boys” or “it’s just locker room talk” is unacceptable (ahem, Donald Trump).  Excusing those actions will only cause men to believe that this is okay, and could lead to even more serious problems in the future if those words turn into actions.

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For all women out there who may be reading this, know that you are not alone.  I feel your pain and your anger.  We need to speak out, when we are ready, and fight for a change in our system.  Think about that little girl getting her hair pulled on the playground by a boy who could grow up to do much worse; your sister or friend who could be fighting for their life.  Education and accountability could significantly decrease that 97 percent, but that system isn’t going down without a fight.